Thanks.

I want to find the words to say thank you.

Who are you, to care enough to nurture me? I never knew what it felt like to have unconditional love. It scares me. I guess that's a conditioned response, because I still find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. At least now I know where that doubt comes from. Maybe I really do deserve good things in life. That's a possibility I've never even considered before.

This isn't how I wanted to say thanks. I feel beautiful words when I think about how much you've done for me, but they don't ever seem inclined to come out on the page.

Some days I still feel despair, but I know that it has an end. The hardest are the times when I feel flat and unresponsive, because I feel as if I'm disappointing both of us.

How can you stand to help me hold this pain. I see the same pain in the eyes of those around me and turn away, because I feel that I stand helpless in the face of their pain. I feel that must be true, for I stand helpless in the face of my own pain. I know that I must admire you, for you have faced your own pain and stand victorious on the other side. I sometimes believe there is hope, for you stand as an example that victory is attainable.



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